The Dream Omelet

God bless The Onion! Those guys can make me snort soup through my nose every time.

Check out Chef Cooks ‘Dream Omelet’ From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream. It’s a great antidote for all those years of cooking demos we’ve endured on the morning television “news” shows.

Bon appetit! And if you’re not going to eat those keys, may I have them? I’m starved!

(And if you’re in the mood for more Onion-styled, food-related silly business, check out their news report Domino’s Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat.)

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We’ll Always Have Paris

As I read the blog of my colleague, Jackie, who just returned from eating her way through Paris (Jackie, I hope you packed your stretchy pants!), I’m recalling my visits there and wishing I’d been blogging in those days.

Well, it’s a toss-up. If I HAD been blogging then, I’d have spent precious time at the computer instead of exploring. But blogging forces you to pay more attention to what you’re seeing, eating and experiencing. Also, you can sit in an Internet café and capture your experiences at the keyboard when your feet have had all of the Louvre or the Great Wall of China or (you fill in the tourist-must-see) they can handle for one day. (Sometimes being in the Internet café becomes the experience itself. Once I was caught in a blackout in one with an array of people from all over the world during a fierce thunderstorm in Siena, Italy. Being inside that stone maze of a town with the thunder rolling through, I felt as if I were a pin in God’s own bowling alley!)

On my most recent trip to Paris, this time with my husband, Andy, we stayed in a great bed and breakfast in Montmartre, in a neighborhood where we lived as temporary locals. We saw tourists and other Americans only when we ventured beyond the few blocks where we bought our groceries and typed our e-mails. The shopkeepers were startled to see us, and many spoke no English at all. But our curiosity about authentic local foods and our willingness to try to communicate in French—as pathetic as we were at it—melted any negative feelings they might have had about tourists. They treated us graciously and with hospitality.

Tomatoes like this will make you want to dodge the supermarket forever after.

“Bonjour! Je voudrais deux baguettes, s’il vous plaît” (pronounced badly) began to come to me easily (In case you have even less French that I do, that’s, “Good morning, I’d like two baguettes, please.”) We shopped for our food the way Parisians do—bread from the boulangerie, cheese from the fromagerie, fruit and veg from the sidewalk stands and sweets from the pâtisserie. This made for great snacking, picnicking and eating at home when we were just too tired to leave the flat after a long day of prowling. Eating this way was also less expensive, but, more importantly, it allowed us to get an idea of how Parisians go about their daily lives.

The street view from our window: the meringue-like basilica of Sacré Coeur and
the intriguing cemetery of Montmartre were a quick stroll away.

While we ate our share of meals out—always looking for places where the locals dined—we took many of our meals in our B&B, a flat we had all to ourselves in one of the many Haussmann-styled buildings that give Paris its seven-stories-with-a-balcony-covered-in-geraniums look. (They don’t call ’em “French doors” for nothing!) Each day while we were out and about, our hostess, Francoise, would sneak in and leave a round of creamy camembert for us in our tiny kitchen, a bottle of wine, or, once she decided she liked us, a jar of her mother’s wonderful homemade strawberry jam.

Our kitchen window offered an array of fresh herbs and
a view of the neighbors’ kitchen windows and THEIR fresh herbs.

Jackie rhapsodizes in her blog about the macarons at Ladurée and Pierre Hermé—and the pictures she took certainly back her up–at least visually. While I haven’t made it to Hermé yet, Ladurée was a revelation in the way Parisians take their time and take their afternoon repast. And yes, I, like many food-obsessed visitors to Paris, have since tried to make macarons, with varying degrees of success.

My first attempt at making macarons—trickier than a soufflé, they are.

And she apologizes for misspellings, since she’s typing on a different keyboard. That’s a travel frustration I find intriguing—what are all those extra characters on the keyboard? And where did they move the @ sign? When you’re blogging or e-mailing from a foreign keyboard, you find yourself fumbling as if you’re back in Typing I class. After awhile, you peck out a hasty “sorry for the typos” and keep right on going, because you’re under the gun, spending both time and money (as in by-the-minute Internet charges) so you don’t want to waste any of either.

So what if it’s been almost two years since our last visit to Paris? There’s no blogging statute of limitations, is there? One of the pleasures of travel is that by looking at photos and recounting to others what you did while you were there, you continue revisiting a place for years to come. We’ll always have Paris, as Monsieur Rick says. He’s right. And so is Hemingway. Paris IS a movable feast, but the urge is strong to return and plunge once more into its sights, sounds, textures, tastes and aromas . . . its Paris-ness!

Where else would you find door handles made of copper pans and lids?

To whet your appetite with great pix and commentary, check out Jackie’s blog, Foodie Reflections. Welcome back, Jackie!

And if you want to see some of our meals and get a feel for our visit, more photos of our trip to Paris are located in the Tours section of my website, Hungry Passport Culinary Adventures. Just click on the Eiffel Tower photo on the right hand side.

Maybe by the time I return they’ll have that leaky-sphynx problem taken care of!


Some things are just too odd not to shoot a picture of.
(I just noticed our reflection in the glass in front of this poster!)

Au revoir!
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Fun with mathematics & small, round food

100% of my cherry tomato harvest disappeared from the kitchen counter last night.

While we slept, the cherry tomatoes metamorphosed into cat toys. When I got up this morning, I found a lone tomato sitting in a shaft of sunlight on the kitchen floor.

Cosmo heard me in the kitchen, so he raced in and took up the game again, smacking the tomato this way and that.

Then he ignored it for awhile. After all, he IS the superior one.

The tomato tried to make a break for it but was captured in the end.

GAME OVER!

I don’t like refrigerating tomatoes, as it destroys much of their flavor and delicate texture. So I guess I’m going to have to start keeping them in the microwave, along with the bread (see “The Bread Thief,” April 25, 2008), so Cosmo doesn’t make off with any more of the produce from our meager desert garden.

As for that tomato harvest, truthfully, there were only two tomatoes, since that’s all that were ripe. But when you use percentages, you can make anything sound more dramatic, profound or whatever you need it to. (50% of the harvest is still missing!)

Another example: a squirrel made off with 25% of our tangerine crop last winter. We’d just planted a new tree, which had four tangerines on it, 25% of which dropped off through our clumsiness during planting. We later harvested 50%.

Gee, isn’t math fun?!

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Adventures in Staycating

The trend this summer, with the economy and the dollar growing weaker than Superman in a kryptonite speedo, is toward “staycation.” It’s a good idea, in theory, but you need to get away from your “stuff,” both the literal stuff and the figurative stuff, if you’re going to relax and experience something new. And that can take some work—or at least some creative planning.

One way is to sample food that’s outside your usual repertoire. One New Year’s, Andy and I resolved that each month in the coming year we’d try a new cuisine, see at least one play and take a hike somewhere outside the confines of the city. Of course, resolutions are made to be broken, and while we were unable to carry through with all three components of our resolution for the entire 12 months, we did manage to enjoy some cuisines with which we were unfamiliar.

Some of our discoveries:

*We found out how cultures can meld when we visited a Chinese Islamic restaurant. While you don’t typically find bread on the table in Chinese restaurants, this one featured a gargantuan round of sesame bread that carried us through the meal and over the next few days. I’ve since heard stories of Chinese Islamic restaurants that serve even larger rounds than the one we got. Apparently, it’s a staple of the cuisine.


*At an Ethiopian restaurant, we discovered the pleasures of eating communally and with our fingers. Our two huge steaming trays, one of vegetarian stews and the other of assorted meats, were served with injera, the famous crepe-like, sourdough-tasting flatbread that functions as both utensil and food.

*We tried a Persian restaurant to see how the food differed from other Middle Eastern cuisines with which we were familiar. The fesenjan, a pomegranate and walnut sauce that’s typically served with duck and chicken, was so good I ate it without the meat on a huge plate of basmati rice and purred like a kitten for the rest of the day. And the tah-deeg, the golden layer of crusty rice remaining at the bottom of the cooking pot, was both yummy and fun, sort of a grown-up rice krispie treat.

So try a cuisine you’ve never had or one you’re not too familiar with. If you go when it’s not the height of the lunch or dinner rush, you may have time to engage your server and possibly even a cook or chef. When you’re ordering, ask, “What do you like?” or “What’s your favorite thing on the menu?” Don’t say, “You pick for me,” because you may end up with the blandest thing they have.

My friend, Chuck, of Gumbo Pages fame, has a business card-sized guide he keeps in his wallet that’s helpful for ordering in international restaurants. On it is the following sentence written in several languages: “I have a white face and a Chinese/Thai/Russian stomach”—you get the idea. This lets the server know he’s an adventurous eater. Chuck said that once when he handed this card to a server, the server took away the first “safe” menu and returned with a “real” one.

Consider this as a staycation option to the same ol’ same ol’. Who knows? Maybe this fall your kids will write an essay titled “What I Ate on Staycation.”

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Savor the flavor, if not the actual food

A couple of Christmases ago, my friend, Kathy, gave me two tubes of toothpaste that weren’t of the usual minty or cinnamony variety—one was Ichibanzumi green tea and the other, Indo curry. The Indo curry wouldn’t make you want to squirt it over your rice, but it does suggest the savory nuances of Indian cuisine. The green tea is delicate and fresh tasting, just not in a minty way. In fact, it reminds me of those Bertie Bott’s grass-flavored jellybeans from the Harry Potter marketing empire. (By the way, I’m a total chicken when it comes to blindly eating those things—I study the accompanying photo carefully to be sure I don’t go chomping into any that taste like ear wax, vomit, compost or rotten egg. Now THERE’S a test kitchen I wouldn’t want to work in!)

Put out by a company called Breath Palette, these toothpastes (#5 green tea and #14 curry) are but two of a variety of revolving flavors available for those who enjoy trying something a little different. Current offerings include cola, rose, bitter chocolate, lavender and something called monkey banana. (So does it taste like monkey or like banana? Or both?! Were any monkeys harmed in the production of this toothpaste?)

Perhaps you could enhance the after-dinner gourmet experience by mixing chocolate and banana on your toothbrush. Or how about combining rose and lavender for a floral brushing experience? Or pumpkin pudding, cinnamon and fuji apple to relive the pleasures of Thanksgiving in the spring? Actually, that might prove helpful to dieters who crave the flavors but are afraid of the calories.

While they were fun to try, I think I’ll stick with Crest. Unless Breath Palette picks up on the Bertie Bott’s idea and starts making toothpastes that taste like bacon, sausage, marzipan and cotton candy . . . Mmmm . . .

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